Pearl, 0-5 Months

Five months ago today our hearts broke.  I don’t recall ever hearing about a heartbreak from happiness, but I now now it holds true.  Every day I am astonished that I get to be the lucky one.  I’m the luckiest mother in the world to get to snuggle up with my precious Pearl, day after day and call her mine.  She is my very own baby, what?!   The truth is, I wasn’t prepared for this.  Sure, these last five months have been the most challenging months of my life, from an all-too-eventful: traumatic birth, to being so sleep deprived my bones hurt (I’m sure every new mom can relate), to being riddled with anxiety over everything. I’m pretty sure every other sentence out of my mouth the first two weeks home started with “Is this normal…?”.  Quickly followed by a relentless internet search and a call to the pediatrician.   Days would merge into nights with only the light through the window alerting me that another day had passed.  In the early days family and friends would pour in, bringing sanitized snuggles and delicious meals.   Night after night we fed, yoga-ball-bounced and swayed Pearl to sleep.  Then one unexpected day, the fog started lifting… around the same time that she cracked her first smile, I started to uncoil and feel like myself again.  Motherhood is still the most difficult and the most wonderful job I have ever had.

My iPhone fills so quick its scary, and I find myself quickly becoming one of “those moms” who whip out photos of their baby quicker than a hiccup.  And since I don’t see that changing anytime soon, here are a few highlights taken with my “big girl camera” and my phone over the last five months.   Rather than bombard my blog with weekly posts of my daughter, I think I’ll space it out a bit.

March 24, 2015 - 2:11 am

Lynee Port - Giving you the biggest mom “I understand” hug. I learned that your only goal should be that you all make it out of the first year alive. It doesn’t have to be pretty, perfect, calm, smell nice, something you are proud of. It just has to happen. However possible. That is winning :).

She is just joy and light and love. I love seeing her face light up my news feed and you and Josh’s beyond blissful faces make my heart smile. Congratulations and keep on keeping on.

March 24, 2015 - 2:27 am

Sarah Jewett - Beautiful words and pictures! I can relate to every word 🙂

March 24, 2015 - 2:41 am

Shasta Jennings - I loved this. I agree 100% and was just telling my ob today that I’m starting to feel a little more like myself..thank goodness for the fog lifting. These photos are beautiful!

March 24, 2015 - 3:19 am

Amber Guevara - Just beautiful

March 24, 2015 - 3:37 am

Laura Lunsford - Omg u guys she is soooo adorable!! Thanks so much for bringing her by today!! :-).

March 24, 2015 - 4:20 am

Karla Witman - Precious

March 25, 2015 - 2:26 am

Debby Grunhurd Van Leeuwen - Thanks for sharing Aubrey! The gift that keeps on giving! Have fun sweetie! Congrats

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